The winter holidays can be fun and relaxing, but at times they can also be stressful or disappointing. The downside of the holiday season is a special challenge for families who are experiencing divorce or separation. Here are a few tips to cope with the holiday season:

1. Keep your expectations realistic. People who are separated or divorced may have limited budgets for gifts, extravagant meals, or elaborate holiday decorations. Plan for a smaller, more intimate celebration with your most trusted friends and family – which can be even more meaningful than blowout parties and expensive gifts.

2.  Consider charitable endeavors. Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to donate time or supplies to food banks, homeless shelters, and charitable organizations. The satisfaction that you will receive from giving to others will make it a memorable holiday season for those who receive and those who give.

3. Don’t turn away help from others. Sometimes we deny our our needs because we don’t want to impose on others. But when friends and family extend holiday invitations or ask if we need help, it may be a good time to renew our bonds with those friends or family members. Let others help you when they can.

4. Keep a positive attitude with the kids. A holiday divided between two parents can be stressful for kids. Don’t compound their stress by saying anything bad about the other parent. Even veiled comments are easily perceived by children. Instead, focus on the positive: perhaps two turkey dinners, or seeing both extended families. Kids will appreciate your good humor and feel much better about themselves and their family.

Tracing is a method of identifying nonmarital property so that it will be preserved as nonmarital property and not divided in the process of equitable distribution.

In Pennsylvania, property acquired during the marriage is presumed to be marital property. Property owned prior to marriage is nonmarital property. But what happens when premarital property is sold, liquidated or exchanged?

For example, let’s say that a husband owned a car prior to marriage. The car was titled in his name alone. If he sells the car and deposits the proceeds into a joint bank account, he creates a “gift” to the marriage, which “transmutes” his separate property (his car) into marital property (their joint account). The joint bank account is marital property which is subject to equitable distribution.

If the husband deposits the proceeds into his own bank account instead, then there is no “gift” to the marriage. But he has co-mingled the proceeds with money that he may have earned during the marriage, which is marital property. Under the tracing doctrine, we can separate the nonmarital component of the husband’s bank account (proceeds from the car) from the marital component (money earned during marriage).

In Lawrence Smith v. Carol Smith, 653 A.2d 1259 (Pa.Super.1995), the trial court employed tracing to identify the nonmarital component of the wife’s stock portfolio and investment accounts. The wife hired a forensic accountant to testify as an expert based upon her tax returns, personal stock ledger and transaction records. Wife’s records were not complete, but her expert did his best to reconstruct years of stock trades.  Since the husband offered no alternative evidence, the trial court adopted the opinion of the wife’s expert. On appeal, the Superior Court held that the expert’s analysis was good enough under the circumstances.